適合學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)段子
總所周知，笑話(huà)是一種緩和氣氛的好辦法。小編在這里給大家分享適合學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)段子，走過(guò)路過(guò)不要錯(cuò)過(guò)啦!
適合學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)段子一
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
"Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends.
"In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"
"Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.
三位男子在公園的長(zhǎng)椅上坐著。中間的一個(gè)在讀報(bào)紙，另外兩個(gè)在假裝釣魚(yú)。他們給想象的魚(yú)鉤上魚(yú)餌，放線(xiàn)，并卷線(xiàn)把魚(yú)抓上來(lái)。
一位過(guò)路警察駐足觀(guān)察了這個(gè)景象，他問(wèn)中間的那個(gè)男子是否認(rèn)識(shí)其他兩位。
“喔，認(rèn)識(shí)，”他說(shuō)，“他們是我的朋友。”
“那樣的話(huà)，”警察告誡說(shuō)，“你最好把他們從這里弄走。”
“好的，警官。”那男子回答說(shuō)，接著就開(kāi)始瘋狂般地做起劃槳的動(dòng)作來(lái)。
適合學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)段子二
A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.
At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.
The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."
有一個(gè)人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業(yè)好幾個(gè)月了。
最后他在一個(gè)瓷器店找到了一個(gè)工作�？墒遣鸥闪藥滋欤痛驙�了一個(gè)很大的花瓶。
經(jīng)理把他到辦公室去，告訴他每個(gè)星期都要扣他的工錢(qián)，直到賠償夠了為止。他就問(wèn)：“那個(gè)花瓶值多少錢(qián)?”經(jīng)理說(shuō)：“值500美元。”他很高興地說(shuō)：“啊!太妙了，我非常高興，終于有個(gè)穩(wěn)定的工作啦。”
適合學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)段子三
Do You Know Who I Am?
你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?
It was the final examination for a Biology course at a university. It was designed to weed out some students. The examination was two hours long. After the exam booklets were provided, the professor told the class that any exam booklet that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
這是一所大學(xué)的生物課期末考試�？荚囍荚谔蕴糠謱W(xué)生。考試時(shí)間為兩小時(shí)。分發(fā)試題冊(cè)后，教授對(duì)學(xué)生們說(shuō)，兩小時(shí)結(jié)束后任何沒(méi)交的試題冊(cè)他都不再接收，沒(méi)交的.學(xué)生一律不及格�？荚囬_(kāi)始后半小時(shí)，個(gè)學(xué)生匆匆跑了進(jìn)來(lái)，向教授要試題冊(cè)。
Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
“你沒(méi)有時(shí)間答完試題的，”教授一邊把試題冊(cè)遞給學(xué)生，一邊諷刺地說(shuō)。
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.
“不，我有，”學(xué)生回答。然后他坐下來(lái)開(kāi)始答題兩小時(shí)后，教授要求交卷，學(xué)生們把試卷整理好，交了卷，只有那名遲到的學(xué)生還繼續(xù)寫(xiě)著。一小時(shí)后，學(xué)生走到教授跟前，教授正坐在桌旁準(zhǔn)備下一節(jié)課。學(xué)生試圖把試卷放在桌上的一堆試題冊(cè)上。
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. An hour later, the student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there
“我不會(huì)接收的。太晚了。”
"I'm not going to accept that. It's late."
學(xué)生看上去將信將疑，有些生氣。
The student looked incredulous and angry.
“你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?”
"Do you know who I am?"
“不，說(shuō)實(shí)話(huà)，我不知道，”教授回答說(shuō)，言語(yǔ)中帶著嘲諷的語(yǔ)氣。
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
“你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?”學(xué)生又問(wèn)，聲音更響亮了。
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again in a louder voice.
“不知道，我也不在乎”教授回答，面露優(yōu)越的神色。
"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.
“那就好，”學(xué)生說(shuō)著快速地拿起一疊試卷，把他的塞到中間，然后走出了教室。
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
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